October 10, 2022 ◊ Blog

From Broken to Broken-Open

From Broken to Broken Open

Broken or Broken-Open? Which will you choose?

There have been many books written on this topic and I will not comment on them here other than to say that they are all correct. Everything you want is on the other side of Broken-Open.
This is my story of breaking-open and an invitation for you to consider making this year, the year that you move from broken to broken-open.

From Broken to Broken-Open: the true story behind the From Secret To Success Journey.

Broken, I knew I was broken, damaged beyond repair. Don’t get too close, I don’t want you to see my brokenness. I know you feel broken too. That’s OK, you’re just fine the way you are. I’m not. If you could see how damaged I am you would walk away. I know you would, others have.

I lived most of my life absolutely certain that if you knew me, if you really knew me, you would walk away.

This certainty of my brokenness led me to hide and for most of my adult life I hid behind my studies and my knowledge and my busy-ness. I avoided conversations that would reveal my flawed self, my damaged core. I avoided forming relationships with those who might have helped me see myself as whole. I kept them at arms-length, I let them teach me, but I wouldn’t let them mentor me because if they got close enough to mentor me, they would leave me. I knew they would, others had.

The problem is that I also avoided mentoring others. I could teach skills and tactics, I could download my knowledge in structured teaching points and tell entertaining stories about concepts and clients, but not about me. I kept my journey a secret, certain that if you knew who I was, you wouldn’t want to work with me.

From a life perspective, this belief in my brokenness was a challenge that led to two broken marriages. From a business perspective, this belief in my brokenness kept me just above flat-broke.

Don’t get me wrong, I worked hard, I networked my assets off. I gave talks and shared my knowledge and hid my heart. I could reach out and show you your value, until you got too close and then I would push you away.

As my protective shell got thicker, my bank account got thinner; and as my bank account got thinner, my self-confidence got shakier; and as my self-confidence got shakier, I hid more. I hid in training programs and certification courses, certain that one of them would break me free from my self-doubt.

I was wrong. One course didn’t do it, but the combination of teachers, courses, and programs; plus, the weight of over-scheduled days; added to the confusion of conflicting voices as I continued to add course upon program, finally brought me to the brink of quitting. Before the brink, was the growing awareness that I was creating more confusion for myself with the over-consumption of other people’s ideas. A growing awareness that I was sabotaging my learning with busy-ness. Then hiding from the uncomfortable awareness of self-sabotage by numbing out with food and a bottle of wine.

Finally, I could hide no more, my “brink” arrived.

I stood on the brink of quitting. Certain that the hundreds of thousands of dollars I’d spent on certifications, trainings, and programs; the years I’d spent studying; and the hours I spent away from my family; were all wasted, and I wasn’t ever going to be any more significant than a cog in a wheel . . .

and I cried.

In the tears, in the complete surrender, something in me broke open. In that moment of openness came the thought that there was nothing wrong, that nothing I had ever done was wasted. In that one moment of openness, I went from broken to broken-open.

Broken-Open: revealing what lay hidden - a Truth about life:

“I CAN’T LIVE MY LIFE WRONG”

Broken-Open Living means that:

No money I ever spent was wasted

No time I ever spent was lost

No thing I ever studied was useless

No one I ever met was evil

 

Broken-Open Living brings the knowledge that:

Every penny I have ever spent was well-spent, even if I wouldn’t spend it that way now.

Broken-Open Living brings the knowledge that:

Every second I have lived was well-lived, even if this second is the last second, I have to live.

Broken-Open Living brings the knowledge that:

Every word I’ve read, every word a teacher ever said, was useful, even if I can’t see how to apply it in my life just yet.

Broken-Open Living brings the knowledge that:

Every person I have known enriched my life in some way, even if I choose not to be around them now.

 

Broken-Open Living means permanent freedom from the self-critical, harshly judgmental shell around my heart.

Imagine your life, Broken-Open and free.

Broken-Open Living begins the moment you are grateful for all of your life. Grateful for all of it. All the places, people, and events that wounded you and left you hurt and confused. Hard to imagine until you make one decision.

The moment of gratitude occurs when you DECIDE that the “damage” inflicted upon you by the places, people, and events of your life was nothing against you, it was prepping you for your path. The moment that you see that the “damage” inflicted upon you by the places, people, and events of your life was simply your fastest path to being Broken-Open and Free from the shell around your heart.

Broken-Open Living: Joyfully revealing what lays hidden – your uniqueness.

Broken-Open Living: Confidently exposing the contents of you heart – unconditional love.

Broken-Open Living: It's waiting for you – what if you decided you were ready?

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